So today marks my re-attempt into the blogging world. I have decided to write as if I am writing to an audience (although Im not entirely sure anyone will ever read this)
The above entitle post translated from Italian means: "Its thoughts become his actions." Its very interesting to see how much of the uncontrollable things in our lives are influenced by our response to it. I guess that is what I will begin with. My goal with this blog is to record my journey into enlightment, wherever that may be. I am on a quest to fine-tune my body, my soul and my spirit to become what I believe I was created to be. It should be an interesting journey... attendere e vedere
Monday, May 10, 2010
Friday, April 17, 2009
Review of Selected Poems by Atilla Josef
Selected Poems by: Attila Josef
I normally am not the biggest fan of anything beyond elementary poetry. In other words, I rarely like to listen or read poetry that is beyond iambic pentameter. This text forced me to read and comprehend outside of my comfort zone as far as literature is concerned. One thing I must say I found in reading the Selected Poems was the constant reference to the author’s mother. It seemed through his writings that he had both a tremendous love and an excessive hate for his mother. In the poem, “Too Late for a Funeral” he blames his mother for her own death, stating, “I should have eaten you!” It was expressions such as these that caught my attention and forced me to look deeper into the writing. After reading that selection, it became clear to me that the poems required deeper thinking into literature itself, and to read into what the author was saying. Aside from the negative, I also found the selection, “Rising at the Dawn like Bakers” to be an interesting piece. He describes this ideal woman that he hopes to marry one day. He illustrates her qualities and elucidates that this idea of a woman is much like his own mother. He wishes to be like his father and marry her one day. In another selection entitled, “Sacriledge” he refers to a young virgin and asks for her “virgin mercy”. These writings were certainly different and intriguing. I also cant help but wonder the author’s complete intended purpose in writing. These writings were translated into English from Hungarian, and anyone who has ever spoken more than one language can tell you that passages are never exactly the same. Perhaps, some of the true meaning was lost in the translation. All in all, excellent read, I recommend it to anyone.
I normally am not the biggest fan of anything beyond elementary poetry. In other words, I rarely like to listen or read poetry that is beyond iambic pentameter. This text forced me to read and comprehend outside of my comfort zone as far as literature is concerned. One thing I must say I found in reading the Selected Poems was the constant reference to the author’s mother. It seemed through his writings that he had both a tremendous love and an excessive hate for his mother. In the poem, “Too Late for a Funeral” he blames his mother for her own death, stating, “I should have eaten you!” It was expressions such as these that caught my attention and forced me to look deeper into the writing. After reading that selection, it became clear to me that the poems required deeper thinking into literature itself, and to read into what the author was saying. Aside from the negative, I also found the selection, “Rising at the Dawn like Bakers” to be an interesting piece. He describes this ideal woman that he hopes to marry one day. He illustrates her qualities and elucidates that this idea of a woman is much like his own mother. He wishes to be like his father and marry her one day. In another selection entitled, “Sacriledge” he refers to a young virgin and asks for her “virgin mercy”. These writings were certainly different and intriguing. I also cant help but wonder the author’s complete intended purpose in writing. These writings were translated into English from Hungarian, and anyone who has ever spoken more than one language can tell you that passages are never exactly the same. Perhaps, some of the true meaning was lost in the translation. All in all, excellent read, I recommend it to anyone.
Review of Pembroke Magazine #40
Pembroke Magazine #40
One, if not the most interesting thing about this magazine was its “special” or its number 40 edition. The magazine contained often ignored or disregarded subjects of writing and the authors that write them. This particular edition featured Hispanic/ Latino writers. One thing I found to be quite interesting was the bi-lingual changes throughout the writing. I am not bi-lingual so the text was accommodating. There will be a passage in English, followed by the same passage translated into Spanish, and vice-versa. I was also astounded to find so many countries represented throughout the writing. Some of the countries mentioned throughout the text were Argentina, Chile, Costa Rica, Mexico, Panama, Peru, Spain and the United States. The diversity was not limited to merely countries, the range of ideas of the writing itself ranged from immigration to romance. Throughout reading some of the passages and poems I came across a story written by Jose Latour entitled, Havanightmare located on page 18. The title alone caught my attention and as I read the story intrigued me. It told the story of a woman named Megan who went on a cruise around the islands of Central America. She was kidnapped by a man and held hostage. What she later learns is that the man holding her is essentially doing so beyond his own will. After an insightful look into his own troubled past, he informs his captive that by kidnapping her is the only way to save his wife. It is a story that ends with quite a twist that was not expected. It was just one among many poems throughout the text, but it was a great read that I suggest to anyone whether bilingual or not.
One, if not the most interesting thing about this magazine was its “special” or its number 40 edition. The magazine contained often ignored or disregarded subjects of writing and the authors that write them. This particular edition featured Hispanic/ Latino writers. One thing I found to be quite interesting was the bi-lingual changes throughout the writing. I am not bi-lingual so the text was accommodating. There will be a passage in English, followed by the same passage translated into Spanish, and vice-versa. I was also astounded to find so many countries represented throughout the writing. Some of the countries mentioned throughout the text were Argentina, Chile, Costa Rica, Mexico, Panama, Peru, Spain and the United States. The diversity was not limited to merely countries, the range of ideas of the writing itself ranged from immigration to romance. Throughout reading some of the passages and poems I came across a story written by Jose Latour entitled, Havanightmare located on page 18. The title alone caught my attention and as I read the story intrigued me. It told the story of a woman named Megan who went on a cruise around the islands of Central America. She was kidnapped by a man and held hostage. What she later learns is that the man holding her is essentially doing so beyond his own will. After an insightful look into his own troubled past, he informs his captive that by kidnapping her is the only way to save his wife. It is a story that ends with quite a twist that was not expected. It was just one among many poems throughout the text, but it was a great read that I suggest to anyone whether bilingual or not.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Millie by Peter Hargatai
PETER HARGITAI’s Millie is a novel that touches the heart. When I first read it I wasnt too sure of the novel that laid ahead of me, but was pleasantly suprised.
In a story of the quintessential American dream, immigration, Hargitai tells the story of the coming-of-age of Art Nagy, a young Hungarian who arrives in America after the 1956 Hungarian Revolution against Soviet-Communist occupation. Art struggles to make sense of life not only as an adolescent but also within his family who insist on transplanting many of their customs and much of their thinking from their country of origin, including less than attractive ideas about race and class. Art’s likes and dislikes and the friends he chooses bring the family to clash over values and beliefs, and culminate in tragedy when he falls in love with a girl from a different background. His deep love for Millie pits him against everything his family believes in…. And the final pages of the novel reveal acts of horror in his family’s past and explain much of what Art Nagy was up against.
Every page keeps the reader fascinated, unable to put it down until the very end. Millie was truly a book in of itself about pushing limits in every sense. Hargatai's strong sense of lack of thought for the common norm. kept me thinking. His raw and real approach to racism and sex is truly unmatched by any other author. It made me want to read again and again. Millie, was and is by far, one of Hargatai's best compilations.
In a story of the quintessential American dream, immigration, Hargitai tells the story of the coming-of-age of Art Nagy, a young Hungarian who arrives in America after the 1956 Hungarian Revolution against Soviet-Communist occupation. Art struggles to make sense of life not only as an adolescent but also within his family who insist on transplanting many of their customs and much of their thinking from their country of origin, including less than attractive ideas about race and class. Art’s likes and dislikes and the friends he chooses bring the family to clash over values and beliefs, and culminate in tragedy when he falls in love with a girl from a different background. His deep love for Millie pits him against everything his family believes in…. And the final pages of the novel reveal acts of horror in his family’s past and explain much of what Art Nagy was up against.
Every page keeps the reader fascinated, unable to put it down until the very end. Millie was truly a book in of itself about pushing limits in every sense. Hargatai's strong sense of lack of thought for the common norm. kept me thinking. His raw and real approach to racism and sex is truly unmatched by any other author. It made me want to read again and again. Millie, was and is by far, one of Hargatai's best compilations.
Monday, January 26, 2009
No I didnt die...
Hello to those who possibly are still reading my blog.. sorry its been a while since I've written, life has had me pretty busy.
My post will be short.
Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Live it. Love it. All in Christ. Christ in all.
Peace&Love
My post will be short.
Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Live it. Love it. All in Christ. Christ in all.
Peace&Love
Thursday, December 25, 2008
All I Want For Christmas...
Holidays, especially Christmas have a tendency to bring out the most selfish aspects of our personalities. It no longer becomes giving, but rather what do I want or what do I need. In a season intended to be about others, how is it that it becomes the most trying time to put others before ourselves? This Christmas was a good evaluation of my progress in my spiritual life. It was a Christmas of little monteraily, but in abundance spiritually. This Christmas, it wasnt about what was wrapped under my tree, but rather the words I spoke the day of while cooking with my insane family. It was trying to be a light to my family and friends... It left me thinking though, what do I really want for Christmas? The "college student answer" says, money money money. The "spiritual answer" is for my parents and sister to come to know and accept Christ... but what about me? What do I reallly want for Christmas? Ever since I was a little girl all I ever wanted was a big kitchen and living room filled with tons of family and friends surrounded by foos and wine and endless laughter and yelling. You see, what most people see as normal or boring I see as perfection. I think Christmas has a tendency to make us appreciate the things we have and sadden us to the things we dont, and more often than not, the things we lack cannot be bought with money. This Christmas is my first by myself. My extended family is up north, and for the first year in a while... I am alone. No relationship... and for the first time, although I'm lonely I dont feel alone. I am content with Gods placement in my life. And this Christmas, thats all I wanted... contentment. Nothing more, nothing less. For the first time, I remembered the true meaning of CHRISTmas.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
ENC 1101 Assignment: Self-Evaluation
My experience writing this argumentation paper was an interesting experience. For the first time in a while my writing skills were challanged. I found it difficult to argue a paper I didnt agree with. I have found in my past semester in 1101 that difficulty was a consistant factor. Our assignments constantly challanged to think outside the realm of comfortability. I truly enjoyed the socratic-teaching style of having each of the students sit in a circle to have an open forum for discussion. That push to think and write beyond the status quo is something I will continue to carry with me throughout my undergraduate and graduate studies.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Back to me...
As many of you know my english lit class has recently taken over my blogging topics. I have been caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, school, and the ins and outs of life as a college student living in (gasp) Miami. So heres a little update on my life thus far:
I am currently 3 weeks away from my second semester as a college freshman. This semester has flown by, and I can say that I have grown more in these past 4 months than in the past 4 years... allow me to explain.
Appreciation is a word used often in my vocab. recently. Throughout high school I was as i like to put it "stable". My finances, my relationship with God, and my Relationship with my boyfriend at the time. The most hurtful thing in my life was the "family life" situation. Well, in the past few months much has changed. I am no longer financially independent meaning for the first time in my life I have to RELY on PEOPLE IE(my mom and G-Ma) for money. Hard hard hard concept for me to swallow.. (im hard-headed, I know Im working on it...) My relatinship with God also took a bit of a nose dive over the summer. Some know things i went through, but basically I was ignoring God flat out. I could see him calling me to a higher standard and moving my life in different directions than i chose to go. And my boyfriend situation took a turn for the worst, but not only that, i listened to the people around me about relationships rather than looking to God for what he wanted for my life.... so after being a mess for a few months... with some hard work, and some deep God time, heres what i have so far...
1) I've realized that dispite my pride, its ok to rely on my mom for things. I have found that having to go to my parents for money has not only made me appreciate their graciousness, but it has made me see how blessed I was before and how i still am so blessed. I know God is still calling me to tithe and I am doing so with the faith that he will provide, and guess what?? He Has.
2) For the first time and a very long time, my family is finally stable. I cant tell you how long it I have prayed for life to be just normal. And you know what, God always answers our prayers, maybe not in our time frame, but in his, and you know what? My mom is now getting married at the Ritz in Miami to a wonderful man of God... hows that for an answered prayer.
3) Finally, the big one... i started working in student ministry again... I cant tell you how good it feels to be where I feel like I belong again. I have been praying for just paitence in every aspect of my life. As far as relationships go, im done doing it my way. I am finally content waiting on Gods timing... if its today, tomorrow, next week, for 5 years... he has never let me down in any aspect, and I dont know why Ive doubted him in this area of my life.
So there it is... my life up until this point... lots has changed, some good and some bad, but I'm a work in progress and as long as I keep my feet on the ground and eyes on God, life is and will continue to be....GOOD!
I am currently 3 weeks away from my second semester as a college freshman. This semester has flown by, and I can say that I have grown more in these past 4 months than in the past 4 years... allow me to explain.
Appreciation is a word used often in my vocab. recently. Throughout high school I was as i like to put it "stable". My finances, my relationship with God, and my Relationship with my boyfriend at the time. The most hurtful thing in my life was the "family life" situation. Well, in the past few months much has changed. I am no longer financially independent meaning for the first time in my life I have to RELY on PEOPLE IE(my mom and G-Ma) for money. Hard hard hard concept for me to swallow.. (im hard-headed, I know Im working on it...) My relatinship with God also took a bit of a nose dive over the summer. Some know things i went through, but basically I was ignoring God flat out. I could see him calling me to a higher standard and moving my life in different directions than i chose to go. And my boyfriend situation took a turn for the worst, but not only that, i listened to the people around me about relationships rather than looking to God for what he wanted for my life.... so after being a mess for a few months... with some hard work, and some deep God time, heres what i have so far...
1) I've realized that dispite my pride, its ok to rely on my mom for things. I have found that having to go to my parents for money has not only made me appreciate their graciousness, but it has made me see how blessed I was before and how i still am so blessed. I know God is still calling me to tithe and I am doing so with the faith that he will provide, and guess what?? He Has.
2) For the first time and a very long time, my family is finally stable. I cant tell you how long it I have prayed for life to be just normal. And you know what, God always answers our prayers, maybe not in our time frame, but in his, and you know what? My mom is now getting married at the Ritz in Miami to a wonderful man of God... hows that for an answered prayer.
3) Finally, the big one... i started working in student ministry again... I cant tell you how good it feels to be where I feel like I belong again. I have been praying for just paitence in every aspect of my life. As far as relationships go, im done doing it my way. I am finally content waiting on Gods timing... if its today, tomorrow, next week, for 5 years... he has never let me down in any aspect, and I dont know why Ive doubted him in this area of my life.
So there it is... my life up until this point... lots has changed, some good and some bad, but I'm a work in progress and as long as I keep my feet on the ground and eyes on God, life is and will continue to be....GOOD!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
NCLB
The upcomming election is rapidly approaching, and as the days are counting down the real issues have come to the forefront. As a future teacher, and a current student, Education has become a primary issue and concern on my part. Early on in President Bush's term, he implimented the "No Child Left Behind" act. The goal was to subject students around the country to national assesments to test the indivudal's level of reading, math, and science skills in comparison the rest of the country. The goal was intended by the year 2014 for every child to meet a standard of reading and math scores on the assesment tests. A seemingly good idea; however, the program, although good in theory was never properly funded or carried out.
A question that has been raised for the upcomming election has been whether to revise or removed the current policy in place. After listening to both canidates on this issue, I must admit, my opinions reside with Senator Obama. In his speech regarding NCLB Act, he says:
"The assessment tools are inadaquate to measure a child's comprehension level. Although I do believe in setting a high standard, children reach their benchmark of high standards throughout different points in their education. The NCLB policy must be revised to form a growth model, to track a students progress. Instead of penalizing schools and teachers for not having students meeting a high standard, instead provide them the tools and resources needed to improve test scores. To recieve funding, progress must be made every year."
After hearing Senator Obama's comments on this issue, I happen to agree. I think we all can agree that the status quo of education in the United States is not acceptable. Test scores are at an all time low. Forcing children to reach a standard at the same point in their lives is an impossible task to attempt to accomplish. Ask anyone with more than one child and they will tell you that no two children reach the same peak in benchmark at the same time. I believe that these tests undermine the quality of educaution and promote superficial educaution goals that prevent real learning from progressing.
It should be abolished and a new growth model set into place so that schools and teachers can recieve funding and resources to ensure that ever child is truly never left behind.
A question that has been raised for the upcomming election has been whether to revise or removed the current policy in place. After listening to both canidates on this issue, I must admit, my opinions reside with Senator Obama. In his speech regarding NCLB Act, he says:
"The assessment tools are inadaquate to measure a child's comprehension level. Although I do believe in setting a high standard, children reach their benchmark of high standards throughout different points in their education. The NCLB policy must be revised to form a growth model, to track a students progress. Instead of penalizing schools and teachers for not having students meeting a high standard, instead provide them the tools and resources needed to improve test scores. To recieve funding, progress must be made every year."
After hearing Senator Obama's comments on this issue, I happen to agree. I think we all can agree that the status quo of education in the United States is not acceptable. Test scores are at an all time low. Forcing children to reach a standard at the same point in their lives is an impossible task to attempt to accomplish. Ask anyone with more than one child and they will tell you that no two children reach the same peak in benchmark at the same time. I believe that these tests undermine the quality of educaution and promote superficial educaution goals that prevent real learning from progressing.
It should be abolished and a new growth model set into place so that schools and teachers can recieve funding and resources to ensure that ever child is truly never left behind.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Where do you stand??
I have and continue to view voting as not only a civic duty, but an honor and priveldge... Not only as a woman, but as an American. Nothing angers me more than ignorance, and unfourtunately my generation has no limited its level of ignorance especially when it comes to politics and the running of our country, the sad but true reality is sometimes, people plain and simply, do not care. Up until recently I have been guilty of viewing politics as simply black and white, and while the race of each of our canidates does not help this issue, I have removed the veil and have realized that there is more to politics than the extreme liberal vs. conservative viewpoints.
Although it is sad to say, the majority of my life, it had been drilled into my brain that conservative/ republican = good and democrat/liberal = bad. Of course that is just my blunt analyzation, but close enough for the most part. My life was consumed with the moral components of an election, that I never actually took the time to stop and think further than my normal realm of thinking. Although it embarasses me to admit, many are guilty of the same thing.
So with the upcomming election rapidly approaching ive been forced to choose. Forced to think...
Heres what I've come up with so far:
1) Moral issues are very important to me, I DO NOT believe in abortion; however, who am I or anyone else for that matter to tell a woman what to do or not to do with her body
2) I DO NOT believe in using the sanctity of marriage for two men or two women, but I do believe they should be given the same rights and benefits as any other married couple.
3) War in Iraq.... well lets not even get started on that....
The bottom line is I, like many Americans have moral opinions and beliefs that go both ways and do not rest on the republican or democratic side....
What has finally helped me decide who to vote for was my Mother. She is 43, in shape ( really she has a 6-pack) and your average mother of 3.... problem?? She has type 1 diabeties. She cannot survive without insulin... she also has thyroid diesese, and a fractured spine. All of these dieseses she needs medicine and medication to live, and because these are all pre-existing conditions no one will ensure her. She is currently in nursing school just so she can work for a hospital to attain health benefits.... recently she found a company to ensure her.... for $805.00 A MONTH!!!!! Thats more than some people's rent (prob. not in south florida).
Something that once was never a concern of mine has now come to center stage. Although it does not directly effect me now, I carry the same genes of my mother, if i am diagnosed with a diesese (which is extremely likely) what will I do then??
Im not going to reveal who I am voting for because I do not feel it is my place to try to influence anyone... I ask if you are uninformed...get informed!!! So many people fought and died for our right to vote. People constantly complain about our country and the state of our economy... well now you have a voice, use it.
Although it is sad to say, the majority of my life, it had been drilled into my brain that conservative/ republican = good and democrat/liberal = bad. Of course that is just my blunt analyzation, but close enough for the most part. My life was consumed with the moral components of an election, that I never actually took the time to stop and think further than my normal realm of thinking. Although it embarasses me to admit, many are guilty of the same thing.
So with the upcomming election rapidly approaching ive been forced to choose. Forced to think...
Heres what I've come up with so far:
1) Moral issues are very important to me, I DO NOT believe in abortion; however, who am I or anyone else for that matter to tell a woman what to do or not to do with her body
2) I DO NOT believe in using the sanctity of marriage for two men or two women, but I do believe they should be given the same rights and benefits as any other married couple.
3) War in Iraq.... well lets not even get started on that....
The bottom line is I, like many Americans have moral opinions and beliefs that go both ways and do not rest on the republican or democratic side....
What has finally helped me decide who to vote for was my Mother. She is 43, in shape ( really she has a 6-pack) and your average mother of 3.... problem?? She has type 1 diabeties. She cannot survive without insulin... she also has thyroid diesese, and a fractured spine. All of these dieseses she needs medicine and medication to live, and because these are all pre-existing conditions no one will ensure her. She is currently in nursing school just so she can work for a hospital to attain health benefits.... recently she found a company to ensure her.... for $805.00 A MONTH!!!!! Thats more than some people's rent (prob. not in south florida).
Something that once was never a concern of mine has now come to center stage. Although it does not directly effect me now, I carry the same genes of my mother, if i am diagnosed with a diesese (which is extremely likely) what will I do then??
Im not going to reveal who I am voting for because I do not feel it is my place to try to influence anyone... I ask if you are uninformed...get informed!!! So many people fought and died for our right to vote. People constantly complain about our country and the state of our economy... well now you have a voice, use it.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
What A Good Day....
So I've had a pretty rough week, rough in the sense that it has been a trying time for my faith. I have always struggled with the concept of finances... Ever since I was 15 I have paid all of my own bills. I have worked starting at 13. It has always been a diffcult task for me to rely on God to provide, when the majority of my life I have relied on myself instead of turning to God. So after a few bad days I finally had a GREAT day....
1) I accidently slept until 1:00 pm!! I wanted to wake up early, but to my dismay slept until very late, nevertheless, I awoke refreshed.
2) My dad sent me the amount of money I had been stressing about in a money order
3) my bank overlooked my overdraft fee and cashed my moneyorder
4) I found, bought, and got for a really good price my big sister's sorority paddle
5) I got to eat PEI WEI for the first time in 3 months!!! (with my best friend!)
6) I got my eyebrows waxed and got gas for under $20
7) I went to an awesome bible study!
8) Dinner with Kristin and some girlfriends
9) Went shopping, got a skirt, and 2 shirts for $4 each
10) GOT A PAIR OF ALDO HEELS FOR $18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (marked down from $70)
11) Spent the night talking to a great guy!!!!!!!!!!!!
1) I accidently slept until 1:00 pm!! I wanted to wake up early, but to my dismay slept until very late, nevertheless, I awoke refreshed.
2) My dad sent me the amount of money I had been stressing about in a money order
3) my bank overlooked my overdraft fee and cashed my moneyorder
4) I found, bought, and got for a really good price my big sister's sorority paddle
5) I got to eat PEI WEI for the first time in 3 months!!! (with my best friend!)
6) I got my eyebrows waxed and got gas for under $20
7) I went to an awesome bible study!
8) Dinner with Kristin and some girlfriends
9) Went shopping, got a skirt, and 2 shirts for $4 each
10) GOT A PAIR OF ALDO HEELS FOR $18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (marked down from $70)
11) Spent the night talking to a great guy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Happy Birthday Devon :(
My friend Devon passed away Feb 18, 2008... Today would have been his 19th birthday. As I looked back on my life up until this point, I still cant believe that hes gone... Many things have happened, and changed. We all graduated... moved away... but there is an emptiness inside us all. I remeber the last time I saw him... The big hug he would always give me. The smile that melted my heart.... i remember where I was when I heard the news... I didnt believe it... I called and called and called praying for him to pick up the phone. My first phone call was to my mom... her cries still ring in my heart. I remember everyone gathering at my house... I remember driving to the crash site... The parts of the car and glass were still on the road... the blood was still wet on the concrete.... My sister found his glasses... those stupid glasses we always teased him for wearing... I remember going to his house... hugging his mother... sitting on his bed... smelling his shirts... i remember hugging Derek... I remember the sting of his tears on my shoulders... I remeber not leaving his house until 2 in the morning. I remember the day of the wake... a line out the door filled with friends, family... new faces and old friends. I remember Sarah MacLaughlan's " In the Arms of an Angel" sung ocapella. I remember my sisters Euliogy... I remember touching his cold hand for the last time.. I remember the funeral... the white ribbons we wore for him... I remember after... Taking a shot to his life. The liquid burning my throat as it went down... He meant something different to all of us.... to me he was my friend, my confidant, my brother... Ill see him someday again...
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Hmmm....
I wrote a blog about influence a week or so ago. After which my dear friend Scott Kenneally decided to write one of his own. We each have had very different influences in our lives that have shaped who we are, and ultimately will become. Below is a comment that was left by someone on his blog. It made me angry at first, but after reading it a few times I began to think what a blessing this person writing was. How often does one get to share his/ her faith with a complete stranger, who doesnt believe in anything you believe in, and thinks you are ignorant for believing that way.... check it out, and check out my response... if you have anything to add leave a comment... Its interesting... if we dont have people who dont continually challange our faith, will our faith ever grow stronger??
One thing about media. It depends on person what influences and how.About the other influences, I'm going forward as I can make an influence on that. Besides, how come God influences us? I don't personally believe in him, so he doesn't make any influence on me. Why should he? God might influence people in a good way or a bad way. The bad way is losing your mind, for the whole God-Jesus-gay thingy is totally schizophrenic. Why should I believe in God when it's certain that agent people liked to create imaginary creatures to give them some hope? I can believe in flying rabbits that cause thunder storms, and let those imaginary rabbits (which I believe to exist) direct my life. How stupid is that? At the moment I'm the one who's very strongly directing myself, and I don't really consider it useful to create holy books or dead people to tell me what to do.We are all based on physics and the brains make us to work. The brain should also tell us what's true and what's not, and it should be a certain thing that fairy tales are only for entertainment. How do you explain your faith? What if you believe in nonsense? What if you have limited yourself, your thinking and your living your whole life for nothing? And everything just because once you actually thought nothing.
September 30, 2008 12:07 PM
Ashley said...
I think it is all about influence. To the person who left this comment all I can say is thank you. It is people who dont believe and who search for enlightment on their own terms that make Christianity all the more real to me. In a world filled with darkness, it is God, his blessings and his miracles that give those that believe in him hope for a future beyond this world. How can we live day to day encountering all forms of influence without a belief in our heart that there is more beyond our world and our own minds. It is an interesting concept for one to think that our lives are our own... I however, disagree. Christianity is not the lack of thinking, but rather a progression to think and believe in something that you cannot see in front of you, but you can see all around you. To the person that wrote this comment: you may not believe in God, the bible, or the concept of church... and you may think that anyone that does is less smart or ignorant, but those who believe in God, are given a purpose and a hope for their lives. I will pray for you, that you find the same hope that can only be found through Christ. To Scotty: you inlfuence so many of us... your such a blessing.. love you man... never stop.
One thing about media. It depends on person what influences and how.About the other influences, I'm going forward as I can make an influence on that. Besides, how come God influences us? I don't personally believe in him, so he doesn't make any influence on me. Why should he? God might influence people in a good way or a bad way. The bad way is losing your mind, for the whole God-Jesus-gay thingy is totally schizophrenic. Why should I believe in God when it's certain that agent people liked to create imaginary creatures to give them some hope? I can believe in flying rabbits that cause thunder storms, and let those imaginary rabbits (which I believe to exist) direct my life. How stupid is that? At the moment I'm the one who's very strongly directing myself, and I don't really consider it useful to create holy books or dead people to tell me what to do.We are all based on physics and the brains make us to work. The brain should also tell us what's true and what's not, and it should be a certain thing that fairy tales are only for entertainment. How do you explain your faith? What if you believe in nonsense? What if you have limited yourself, your thinking and your living your whole life for nothing? And everything just because once you actually thought nothing.
September 30, 2008 12:07 PM
Ashley said...
I think it is all about influence. To the person who left this comment all I can say is thank you. It is people who dont believe and who search for enlightment on their own terms that make Christianity all the more real to me. In a world filled with darkness, it is God, his blessings and his miracles that give those that believe in him hope for a future beyond this world. How can we live day to day encountering all forms of influence without a belief in our heart that there is more beyond our world and our own minds. It is an interesting concept for one to think that our lives are our own... I however, disagree. Christianity is not the lack of thinking, but rather a progression to think and believe in something that you cannot see in front of you, but you can see all around you. To the person that wrote this comment: you may not believe in God, the bible, or the concept of church... and you may think that anyone that does is less smart or ignorant, but those who believe in God, are given a purpose and a hope for their lives. I will pray for you, that you find the same hope that can only be found through Christ. To Scotty: you inlfuence so many of us... your such a blessing.. love you man... never stop.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Influence...
Influence... its a word used often in our vocabularies. Im sure if we stop to think about it, there has been one or more people who have come into our lives and drastically changed us as human beings simply by their influence in our lives. But what about negative influence? Or the media's role in our lives? How does the media influence us? We have become known as a "fast food" generation in the sense that we want everything fast and delievered to us.. how much of that concept is derived from the media? What about the way we choose to dress? The way we speak? Or even the music and movies we subject our eyes and ears to? As much as we would like to think that we have escaped the media's influence in our lives, it is all to apparent. Take the hip hop industry for example. In almost every song, women are denegrated and refered to as "hoes" and "bitches". Upon questioning, many women just brush it off saying, well they're not refering to me. Yet if you spin the situation around, and say instead of a rapper saying something it was George Bush, and he wasnt talking about women but about black people, describing them using the N word... would the same standard apply? Would people accept that we wasnt talking about ALL black people... I think not. In our society we have been conditioned to think that the way people think, speak, and act is acceptable. Do you think it is a considence that the percentage of teenage girls with eating disorders has risen 60% in the last 20 years? The idea that "thin is beautiful" is directly taken from the media and its influence. So that leaves the question, how do we shift the influence of the media from negative to positive? Can it be changed? And if it is changed, will society change? A few questions to ponder... Upon thinking of this topic my mind raced 20 years in the future... when i have children what will the chain of influence be? The truth is, our world cannot be exposed to anything we dont create. Why do we constantly as a human race insist on feeding off of negativity? Influence... its all about influence.Monday, September 15, 2008
Its not what you take when you leave this world behind you... its what you leave behind you when you go.
The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all. ~Leo Rosten
Ever since I was a child I had always hated watching the news. I would often ask why the news could never broadcast good news. It wasnt until I grew up that i realized the reason why i never watched good news is the simple fact that our world is emmersed in chaos.
In June of 2007 I was fourtunate enough to go to Lima, Peru on a mission trip. Peru is considered to be one of the poorest countries in the world. I have always had a heart for philanthropy and the option to go and help in a country foriegn to me was an oppertunity i never thought i'd recieve.
As one can see in the pictures above, Peru although beautiful at points was devestating to see. In the United States, if your parents die when you are born, the government will take care of you until your 18, in Peru, the government does not take care of its children, or its people.
Child prostitution, human trafficing, and drug running are extreme problems in Lima, Peru. After nearly 2 weeks of living and serving there I had grown a new found appreciation for my country and people in general. On my 7 hour flight home I did a little thinking. My mission trip was a huge chapter in my life, but it was just another day to the children of peru. The things I saw brought me to tears and it dawned on me that the images that could bring me to cry was their everyday reality. I began to think more... Before leaving, my father in his infinate wisdom asked why i had made the choice to "waste" $1500 to travel to a third world country. "What can a group of kids do in peru that would make a difference?" I remember him saying. I brushed it off as ignorance, and I began to think, this is the way the majority of people think.
Its like when were driving and see someone on the side of the road with their hoods up. We make up an excuse as to why we cant stop. "ill be late" "they can handle it" "i dont know that much about cars" But when the roles are reversed and we find ourselves on the side of the road with a broke down car, we ask ourselves why no one would stop.
Sometimes a little bit of kindness and a whole lot of heart can make all the difference in the world.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Opinions...
A persons' ideas and thoughts towards something. It is an assessment, judgment, or evaluation of something- this is the definition of an opinion. Throughout the course of my life i have never been one to shy away from expression of my opinion. As a woman, my opinion often has been viewed as unimportant or somewhat downplayed. I have taken it upon myself to be a voice for strong women to stand up for their equal place in society.
I was told upon entering the wide world of dating that during the course of a 1st, 2nd or 3rd date there are three things never to bring up in conversation: Religion, Politics, and Finances. I personally have made it a point during every date to bring up each and every topic for discussion. Is there something wrong with opinions or is it simply the fear of disagreement? I have always thought my opinion was my own, until that thought was questioned. Is my opinion really my own or is it formed and molded by my faith, and the people who surround me?
I guess no thought is ever completely original, but this topic made me question my own beliefs and opinions. Take the topic of abortion: my stance is pro-life, but why? I believe that every fetus is a life and no one, but God, should have that right to take a life; but how can I form an opinion on something I have never experienced? If I were in that situation, would that be the best choice for me? What about the father, should he have say in what the outcome will be? I guess part of growing up is understanding that its ok to question your beliefs and opinions, because when you ask yourself why you believe something, it forces you to truly find out why.
Too often we as people, and more so women, tend to forget that it is ok to step away from the herd and use the voice within. I want to encourage women to remember to use their voices. I want to die, not knowing that I agreed with everyone, but that I stood for what I believe in. That my voice, although not always agreed upon, was heard loud and clear, and perhaps made someone else think a little more about the things they believe in and stand for.
I was told upon entering the wide world of dating that during the course of a 1st, 2nd or 3rd date there are three things never to bring up in conversation: Religion, Politics, and Finances. I personally have made it a point during every date to bring up each and every topic for discussion. Is there something wrong with opinions or is it simply the fear of disagreement? I have always thought my opinion was my own, until that thought was questioned. Is my opinion really my own or is it formed and molded by my faith, and the people who surround me?
I guess no thought is ever completely original, but this topic made me question my own beliefs and opinions. Take the topic of abortion: my stance is pro-life, but why? I believe that every fetus is a life and no one, but God, should have that right to take a life; but how can I form an opinion on something I have never experienced? If I were in that situation, would that be the best choice for me? What about the father, should he have say in what the outcome will be? I guess part of growing up is understanding that its ok to question your beliefs and opinions, because when you ask yourself why you believe something, it forces you to truly find out why.
Too often we as people, and more so women, tend to forget that it is ok to step away from the herd and use the voice within. I want to encourage women to remember to use their voices. I want to die, not knowing that I agreed with everyone, but that I stood for what I believe in. That my voice, although not always agreed upon, was heard loud and clear, and perhaps made someone else think a little more about the things they believe in and stand for.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A Look into Blogging...
As a child I always kept a diary of sorts. I would become obsessed with writing. Ideas, thoughts, hopes, dreams, anything and everything. Then there would come a point when it would become old, and it was just another slightly odd looking square occupying my book shelf. As the years passed I would often read back on my thoughts. Laughing at the pity of my problems at the time, or finding myself in a state of deep thinking as I saw the progression of my life through my words. I would write things purposely wishing at times my mother, or boyfriend would stumble upon it, and read the words I too often was shy to express.
Why do I have a blog? It has become apparent to me that this blog I have kept and written has become something more than just an occupation of my time. It has become an outlet, to express my words, thoughts and ideas as I often did as a child. It is a way to cry out, reach out to anyone and everyone who cares to read past the first sentence.
I believe you can tell alot about a person by how they write. A blog for me has become the perfect forum to say the things I often wish I had to courage to say. At the end of my blogging days, whenever they may be, I hope to leave something I can reflect back on and look at the progression of my life thus far, but more importantly, perhaps allow these words to reach someone desperate to hear them. If nothing else, I have at least occupied my mind for more than a minute. In the words of James Earl Jones, "One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you cant utter."
Why do I have a blog? It has become apparent to me that this blog I have kept and written has become something more than just an occupation of my time. It has become an outlet, to express my words, thoughts and ideas as I often did as a child. It is a way to cry out, reach out to anyone and everyone who cares to read past the first sentence.
I believe you can tell alot about a person by how they write. A blog for me has become the perfect forum to say the things I often wish I had to courage to say. At the end of my blogging days, whenever they may be, I hope to leave something I can reflect back on and look at the progression of my life thus far, but more importantly, perhaps allow these words to reach someone desperate to hear them. If nothing else, I have at least occupied my mind for more than a minute. In the words of James Earl Jones, "One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you cant utter."
Friday, August 22, 2008
To you...
If there is one lesson I have learned in recent months, its that life usually never turns out as you expect it to. I say this with the understanding that hopefully the vast majority of my life has yet to be lived. I came home for my final visit before Fall Semester begins. My room had been cleaned out and the somewhat scary things removed from under my bed, one of which caught my eye. It was a Steve Madden box. I knew it was not a long forgotten pair of shoes, I knew what the box contained, and dispite myself, I looked anyways.
Inside this box was nearly 2 years of letters, cards, notes, pictures, and tickets of sorts. It was everything remaining of my previous relationship. I hid this box, because for a long time nothing in it brought happy memories, just pain. Its been a while now, and both of us have moved on with our lives, so i figured: hey, what the heck.
I read letters, cards looked at pictures and random items Ive kept. after all of this im glad I kept these things. Dispite everything, I have nothing but the utmost love and appreciation for Mike. Although my previous actions and words may declare otherwise. I think when you get older, you learn to appreciate people, no matter how much they may have hurt you. I am extremely stubborn, and hard headed, but when i feel something in my heart, and i say it... its real. So here it goes. Mike, If you ever happen to come across this, it is only through Gods working and know it is from my heart, even though I would never have to courage to say it:
Thank you. These are simple words but often hard for me to say. Thank you for helping me through the most difficult years of my life. you were my rock in a crazy world. You taught me to rely on God when all else fails, and to believe in people and having faith in yourself. I know I wasnt the best girlfriend, the most pretty and definately not the funniest. I argued with you alot, I would never admit I was wrong, and I pushed you too hard sometimes. But please know, above all else, that I loved you. That love over time and through heartache has grown to respect and a deep friendship. Thank you for always being there for me, even though im not the easiest person to deal with, and may everything in your life be blessed, because you deserve your "perfect" woman.
- I felt it so i had to write it... call me a goober.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Dreams...
In the past few weeks I have made a decision that will effect me for the rest of my life. As expected by most college students at one point or another, I changed my major. I've wanted to be a lawyer for as long as I can remember. As a little girl it was my dream to go into court and put away the bad guy. As my life has evolved so has my dreams. I have decided to change my major to Education and become a high school teacher. After much prayer, my heart has a calmness and trust in this as a carreer path. What was your dream job as a child? How has it changed from what you want to do to what you do today?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Best Date....
So today I made a trip home from school to come see my mom and siblings. Lately I've felt a bit lonely in the "man" dept. so a nice talk from my less than suttle mother was just what I needed. So I made my way home, at which point my 9 year old brother Andrew asked if we could go to lunch and have a date together. The idea struck me as funny considering the fact that I still think of andrew as 5 and incapable of thinking with his own mind. I agreed and we were off...
I decided to take a picture while driving and pretending to smile... Andrew asked me as I was taking this picture what the heck i was doing and to watch where I was driving.... nice right? :)
This is Andrew Connor. He is 9 and more like a little son to me rather than a brother. I made him a bet about a trivia fact and if he got it wrong I was allowed to take him to get his head buzzed... as you can see, he got it correct and still has his incredibly long hair.
Andrew and I's favorite restraunt in Weston is Lucielles. They have wonderful food so we decided to go there. I asked Andrew what he wanted to eat and he replied: "I think Im going to eat like when i was a little kid... Im going to have mac and cheese." It made me laugh.
He got chicken fingers instead....
After we were done eating, andrew said thank for you taking him to lunch and that I was "the bestest sister ever!" My date was the best Ive had in a long time. I man not have a man in my life, but I have a little man who thinks the world of me just for getting him chicken fingers. Isnt being the oldest fun! :D
I decided to take a picture while driving and pretending to smile... Andrew asked me as I was taking this picture what the heck i was doing and to watch where I was driving.... nice right? :)
This is Andrew Connor. He is 9 and more like a little son to me rather than a brother. I made him a bet about a trivia fact and if he got it wrong I was allowed to take him to get his head buzzed... as you can see, he got it correct and still has his incredibly long hair.
Andrew and I's favorite restraunt in Weston is Lucielles. They have wonderful food so we decided to go there. I asked Andrew what he wanted to eat and he replied: "I think Im going to eat like when i was a little kid... Im going to have mac and cheese." It made me laugh.
He got chicken fingers instead....
After we were done eating, andrew said thank for you taking him to lunch and that I was "the bestest sister ever!" My date was the best Ive had in a long time. I man not have a man in my life, but I have a little man who thinks the world of me just for getting him chicken fingers. Isnt being the oldest fun! :D
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