To you...

If there is one lesson I have learned in recent months, its that life usually never turns out as you expect it to. I say this with the understanding that hopefully the vast majority of my life has yet to be lived. I came home for my final visit before Fall Semester begins. My room had been cleaned out and the somewhat scary things removed from under my bed, one of which caught my eye. It was a Steve Madden box. I knew it was not a long forgotten pair of shoes, I knew what the box contained, and dispite myself, I looked anyways.

Inside this box was nearly 2 years of letters, cards, notes, pictures, and tickets of sorts. It was everything remaining of my previous relationship. I hid this box, because for a long time nothing in it brought happy memories, just pain. Its been a while now, and both of us have moved on with our lives, so i figured: hey, what the heck.

I read letters, cards looked at pictures and random items Ive kept. after all of this im glad I kept these things. Dispite everything, I have nothing but the utmost love and appreciation for Mike. Although my previous actions and words may declare otherwise. I think when you get older, you learn to appreciate people, no matter how much they may have hurt you. I am extremely stubborn, and hard headed, but when i feel something in my heart, and i say it... its real. So here it goes. Mike, If you ever happen to come across this, it is only through Gods working and know it is from my heart, even though I would never have to courage to say it:

Thank you. These are simple words but often hard for me to say. Thank you for helping me through the most difficult years of my life. you were my rock in a crazy world. You taught me to rely on God when all else fails, and to believe in people and having faith in yourself. I know I wasnt the best girlfriend, the most pretty and definately not the funniest. I argued with you alot, I would never admit I was wrong, and I pushed you too hard sometimes. But please know, above all else, that I loved you. That love over time and through heartache has grown to respect and a deep friendship. Thank you for always being there for me, even though im not the easiest person to deal with, and may everything in your life be blessed, because you deserve your "perfect" woman.

- I felt it so i had to write it... call me a goober.

Dreams...

In the past few weeks I have made a decision that will effect me for the rest of my life. As expected by most college students at one point or another, I changed my major. I've wanted to be a lawyer for as long as I can remember. As a little girl it was my dream to go into court and put away the bad guy. As my life has evolved so has my dreams. I have decided to change my major to Education and become a high school teacher. After much prayer, my heart has a calmness and trust in this as a carreer path. What was your dream job as a child? How has it changed from what you want to do to what you do today?

The Best Date....

So today I made a trip home from school to come see my mom and siblings. Lately I've felt a bit lonely in the "man" dept. so a nice talk from my less than suttle mother was just what I needed. So I made my way home, at which point my 9 year old brother Andrew asked if we could go to lunch and have a date together. The idea struck me as funny considering the fact that I still think of andrew as 5 and incapable of thinking with his own mind. I agreed and we were off... I decided to take a picture while driving and pretending to smile... Andrew asked me as I was taking this picture what the heck i was doing and to watch where I was driving.... nice right? :)

This is Andrew Connor. He is 9 and more like a little son to me rather than a brother. I made him a bet about a trivia fact and if he got it wrong I was allowed to take him to get his head buzzed... as you can see, he got it correct and still has his incredibly long hair.

Andrew and I's favorite restraunt in Weston is Lucielles. They have wonderful food so we decided to go there. I asked Andrew what he wanted to eat and he replied: "I think Im going to eat like when i was a little kid... Im going to have mac and cheese." It made me laugh.

He got chicken fingers instead....

After we were done eating, andrew said thank for you taking him to lunch and that I was "the bestest sister ever!" My date was the best Ive had in a long time. I man not have a man in my life, but I have a little man who thinks the world of me just for getting him chicken fingers. Isnt being the oldest fun! :D

My Personal To-Do List....

I've Always been a fan of to-do lists... Im very organized contrary to my mother's opinion. a to-do list keeps all my crazy thoughts in a nice checkoff list for me to remember and keep track of. I promised myself if i felt the tug of the Holy Spirit on my heart I would follow it and listen. Tonight of all places I felt the tug on my heart... in the shower. It is days like this that just confirms my faith in a very big way. Thoughts like this I feel come from God. So with my 2 week break approaching from school I figured I'd make a personal to-do list... it contains the following:

1) Spend 30 mins each day in the word... at least 5-10 of which should be reading. Also including solitary worship music, praying, journaling ect.
2) View every man I encounter or is in my life already as merely a friend. I read a quote that said "Dance with God, he'll allow the perfect man to cut in" God knows the desire of my heart to fall in love, but I dont believe im prepared for that blessing just yet.
3) Start serving at Doral and attend every service & Elevate
4) Hit the gym everyday for at least an hour. Can also use some of that workout time to listen to Worship music.
5) compliment everyone I encounter in some way.
6) Wake up everyday and name initally 3 things I am thankful for
7) Make a concious effort to do kind things consistantly for people throughout the day
8) Make an effort to be kinder and more friendly with my sister and mom
9) Find a job


These are all ideas that came to me tonight. I've been praying for God to speak to my heart and change me. I've been praying for that perfect man to come along. God knows the desires of our hearts and I believe at the end of these 2 weeks I will be a much better person. 14 days and counting...

I Know She is Army Strong... But Am I?

For those of you who are unaware this is my "little" sister Danielle ^... i say "little" because, well even though I am almost two years older than she is, she is by far older than me in life experience. If you know me well, chances are you know my sister and I's constant struggle as kids to get along. We always fought as kids and even more so as teenagers. As I gotten older and moved out of the house to go to college, I realize just why we have never gotten along. She is the antonym of me. Every weakness of mine is her strength, and vise versa. My sister may have a temper with me, but I also know she would take a bullet for me without question. But this post is not to compplain about my sisters relationship with me, nor is it to talk about her qualities and faults... this post is for something more...

After recieving a call from my mom, I was informed that now a 17-year old may enlist in the army. My sister will be turning 17 on September 26th at which time she will be enlisting. At first I thought the concept was wonderful. My sister has never had dreams of being a teacher or a nurse... Danielle has too much passion and strength to do somthing so small. I always envisioned her as a cop, but the army... I had never thought of that before.

As I walked to class today I passed by the TV turned to CNN as a story of a group of soldiers driving over an explosive covered the screen. I thought about my little sister. I have faith that Danielle is Army Strong and Army Ready, but am I? My sister and I have never agreed on much, and she has the strength and courage to do what most people would never. I admire her so much for that... I wouldnt have the courage. To my sister: I'm so proud of you... Your courage is incredible and honorable. The United States will be a safer place because you are willing to lay down your life for the protection of it. I love you. And although I'm scared for you... and not at ease with the thought of you ever fighting in war... for once I will be the sister you want- encouraging you... supporting you, not the sister you need and the sister i have too often been trying to steer you away from trouble and telling you what is right and wrong. Im sorry for sometimes trying to be too much like your mom and not enough like your sister... Its only been because I love you and am trying to protect you and teach you.... but you've taught me more in your actions, than anything i could teach you with words.

She is army strong....

I'm A Proud Auntie!!!!!! =)

Antonino Peter Chiola arrived at 11:00 PM last night 7lbs 4 oz 20 inches long. My step sister Anda married my now brother-in-law Frankie Chiola and now welcomed their amazing baby boy nicknamed Nino. We are so happy to have him... both Mommy and Dad are doing well and are estatic =)