Holidays, especially Christmas have a tendency to bring out the most selfish aspects of our personalities. It no longer becomes giving, but rather what do I want or what do I need. In a season intended to be about others, how is it that it becomes the most trying time to put others before ourselves? This Christmas was a good evaluation of my progress in my spiritual life. It was a Christmas of little monteraily, but in abundance spiritually. This Christmas, it wasnt about what was wrapped under my tree, but rather the words I spoke the day of while cooking with my insane family. It was trying to be a light to my family and friends... It left me thinking though, what do I really want for Christmas? The "college student answer" says, money money money. The "spiritual answer" is for my parents and sister to come to know and accept Christ... but what about me? What do I reallly want for Christmas? Ever since I was a little girl all I ever wanted was a big kitchen and living room filled with tons of family and friends surrounded by foos and wine and endless laughter and yelling. You see, what most people see as normal or boring I see as perfection. I think Christmas has a tendency to make us appreciate the things we have and sadden us to the things we dont, and more often than not, the things we lack cannot be bought with money. This Christmas is my first by myself. My extended family is up north, and for the first year in a while... I am alone. No relationship... and for the first time, although I'm lonely I dont feel alone. I am content with Gods placement in my life. And this Christmas, thats all I wanted... contentment. Nothing more, nothing less. For the first time, I remembered the true meaning of CHRISTmas.
