Broken...

Main Entry: bro·ken Pronunciation: \ˈbrō-kən\ adjective
1: violently separated into parts : shattered2: damaged or altered by breaking: as a: having undergone or been subjected to fracture bof land surfaces : being irregular, interrupted, or full of obstacles c: violated by transgression

When I think of broken, I envision myself as a 6 year old child dropping the glass that my mother told me not to touch... little did I know, that 12 years later, God would reveal to me a diffrent meaning of broken.

I have never been much of a boaster... but coming into my college experience I was overly confident that dispite the normal college behaviors, I could and would surpass temptation and keep my feet planted firmly on the ground. But I've learned something, as most people tend to do, that the enemy works in tricky ways, and sometimes... that ground that you think your planted upon really isnt a ground at all.. and when you least expect it... you fall.

I guess in a short month I have learned more about myself and my relationship with God that I ever have. Ive learned that just because you are strong, does not mean you willl not fall. It is much strronger of a person to run from temptation that to try and stand up to it... and that even when you think the world has turned its back on you, and your mistakes will swallow you whole... god places his hand on your shoulder and picks you back up.

Thats what Ive learned... that even in my moments when I leave God, he never leaves me. As Matt Miller once said, "Your either taking steps towards the cross or away from it". It took me a while to reach out to someone I trusted, but more importantly someone who would understand and not judge me. To that person, you have warmed my heart and made me realize things I wouldnt have realized without you.

Why Im choosing to write this now? Im not too sure... I just know that no matter how strong a person you are, or how strong your relationship with God is... away from church, the word and around wrong people, you will falll... you will break.... but when you do... god is always there to pick up the pieces. Dont judge, or lecture to those around you making poor decisions.. instead offer a hug and a smile and tell them you love them... sometimes... it can make all the diffrence.

Paitence is a virtue... that I don't possess

Throughout my life I have heard more times than I can count "Ashley be paitent" "Everything will happen in time" The bible teaches us to be paitent and to trust everything in God's hands and God's timing. I know from my life that all of us have certain spiritual strengths and weaknesses... paitence is NOT a strength of mine. Sometimes in life I feel like I wait... and wait... and wait. Have you ever felt like you've waited for things in your life, and no matter how much you want it, or how hard you pray it just doesnt come???

Scotty Kenneally

This is Mr. Scott Kenneally... I've decided to blog tonight about him. Because of his recent surgery he and his amazing wife Shannon have been on my mind... im thinking it.. so im going to share it... its my blog.. i have that power :D

One thing you have to know... The day I met Scott I instantly liked him. Have you ever met that one person in your life that you just connected with from the moment you saw them. For starters... our sarcastic, somewhat harsh humor is something we share. I am extremely sarcastic, as is he... we rag on each other constantly and its all in good fun. Also, we are not only bonded for life as brother and sister in Christ, but in Football and Baseball. We are die hard Red Sox fans... "Born into it" right Scott?? We both grew up in suburbs in Mass... and well... we just get each other. But this post is not to convey Scott's humor nor his incredible intelligence to love the greatest team EVER... no... for one Im going to go a little deeper into who he is and the impact he has made on my life.

This is the Scott i think of when i think of Scott Kenneally ^. Goofball....

Hospitals bonded Scott and I from the beginning of our friendship. My mother was sent to the hospital for 3 days due to complications relating to her diabeties. I didnt leave her side, and through this ordeal Shannon and scott were going through alot of health problems of their own.

At this point, I didnt know Scott all that well... Well sure enough... 6am here comes scott through the emergency room with 4 bags in tow. One filled with magazines, gum, mouthwash, a toothbrush, dedorant, face wash, and snacks. Another bag filled with soda, water and gatorade. A sweatshirt in one hand and a venti white chocolate mocha from starbucks.... The thing is, no one knows what Scott did for me that day. Thats not who he is... he doesnt boast about what he does for others... he just does it. Doesnt ask, just does. He is truly a living man exemplifying Christ.

Scott was hit by a drunk driver a few years ago while he was driving his motorcycle. Because of that accident his life changed forever. He met the love of his life... but his right ankle was severely damaged. After therapy and unlimited pain, he went in for repair surgery July 1, 2008.

Here is a picture of Scott's ankle, post-surgery. The sicko was probally taking this on his iphone as hes all drugged up. Keep in mind I first saw this picture when I was eating... yum.

The point of all this was my conversation with Scott today. We did the usually how are you, how are you deal. He talked to me about his pain and things throughout his day and I replied with my answers. I have had a rough few days and Scott is well aware of this... So while this man is bound to his pain in at times, unbareable pain, do you know what he asks me?? What can I do for you? What do you need? Do you need a break? Do you want to come over and talk to Shan and I?

i must say... it doesnt take much for me to be stunned, but scott is known for that effect on people ;). I know he will read this eventually and be modest and say its not that big of a deal... you would do the same.... It is a big deal. You and Shannon are truly an inspiration to me. We will be friends for life... thank you for everything Scotty. Love ya...

Heres A Thought...

I was thinking tonight about blogging. I truly never expected anyone to ever read my blog, now that I realized some people actually take the time to read it I thought, Hey... why not blog about people individually. Sometimes an entire day can be consumed with my thought on that one person. So for a little while.. once in a while... I will blog about one person.... Lets see the reaction!!

Mind too full to Sleep...

Do you ever just have those nights where you mind, heart, and soul just feel so completely filled? Tonight the culimnation of everything I have been thinking, dreading, hoping for, missing, wanting, fearing has finally caught up with me. God and I have a funny relationship. I am a control freak. Im a fixer. Im a worrier. I am all these things that God has made me to be, yet it is the opposite of what I should be. My biggest spiritual problem is letting go and letting God work. I think that if i can do it all, i wont be "bothering" God.

Im not the nicest person to be around when im upset, and lately I have not been myself. I guess i just need to throw myself into his word... trust... and let God do the rest. I know his plans are so much better than the ones I have for myself. Its just about waiting... praying... and being faithful. I have seen God bless my life in so many areas I have no doubt he will continue to care for me, I just ask for your prayers and encouragement... and thank you to those who still love me even when i can be a handfull.... i really do love you so much.

I Am Alive... Barely

So, Its been a little while since my last post, and in that amount of time ALOT has happened. I packed up my life and moved it to good 'ol Miami. I am now officially a student at Florida International University. Yay me (sarcasm). There are a few things I have learned in my short time here in Miami: 1) I am such a gringo 2) Drivers here are HORRIBLE!!!! Now i see why Jesse and Abel drive the way they do ;) (just kidding guys). 3) Dorms...well... suck.

I wasnt expceting the Ritz or anything, but... well this is what $2,500 for 6 weeks gets you in college. Hey... at least I have my own room.

People ask how it is with more freedom and such... its really about the same.. just more lonely.

Its only my first week, im trying to be positive so wish me luck with that.

I have seen in a very short amount of time God working in incredible ways in my life and my friends. Shannon Bower/ Kenneally found out this week that her health issues have been caused by severe migranes and not a stroke THANK GOD! My best to Shannon... Also, her husband Scott will be having surgery the 1st of July. Please pray for him as he goes through this ordeal.. he likes... no... loves coffee... so i would suggest a venti from starbucks instead of flowers if anyone is interested.

Being away has made me appreciate those i love. If you know me, Im extrememly independent. I dont like to ask people for help, in anything, but mostly monetarily. I hate asking for money or admitting that I need financial help. I have been kicked to my knees this week. First I not only recieved one ticket, but 5 from the wonderful FIU Campus Police. While moving in, I decided to park in the handicapped spot... you know how it says on the sign $250.00 fine.... well they enforced it. Yay me.

Its been a rough start, and I can see how it is so easy to walk away from God and church at this age. I didnt grow up in a christian home, nor was I a sheltered child, but I chose to cut myself off from that "world" as much as possible. But God has me here for a reason, and throughout this week... I've learned that when Life kicks you to your knees, your already in a perfect position to pray.

Pray... Pray Hard... Pray Faithfully... and Let God do the Rest... Until next time.. love you all

Hasta

GRADUATION... FINALLY!!!

June 3, 2008 I officially graduated from high school. We had practice early that morning and I had the ability to sit and watch. If you know me, Im a people-watcher. I'm not wierd I just love to observe people... in their actions, their clothing.. its funny how much you can find out about a person just by watching them. Anyways, I was watching the people around me. Some people I have known since I moved to Florida 10 years ago, and others I have never seen before (not a difficult task when you have the largest graduating class in the nation.. seriously)

I reflected back on my past 4 years. I thought of my first day of high school and how I was late and woke up crying because I was going to miss class. I thought of the friends that I have had that have come and gone, I thought about those that stayed, and the friends that help to change my life.

I looked back on accepting Christ at 16... I looked back on my relationships and the one that changed me forever. Most of you know who I'm reffering to. God has a strong sense of humor... It was finding, loving, and losing him to change me into the person God had been trying to mold me into all along.

Graduation wasnt just the ending of high school for me, it was the timeline of my life for the past 4 years. I look back on all that has happened both good and bad and I'm so thankful to God that they did.

I walked across the stage expecting to feel some kind of incredible feeling, but I just felt complete. I made it through high school.. and while some compromises were made on my part throughout, the things important to me I stayed true to. I'm 18.. a high school graduate the day has come and gone.. and now its just another chapter in my book of life....hasta